Heavy heart.
Hot tears.
Painful thoughts.
Heavy heart.
Heavy heart..
Heavy heart...
Heavy heart....
Don't exactly have a clear idea of what to write here yet there's this inclination to blog. Just wanted to say, it pains me to think of how much Cl loves me and his family that he's willing to give up something that almost means everything to him. How many people can give up something for others, but not yourself. Not me for sure. But through him, I believe I must learn. It's scary that we have to make such decisions, a decision of such significant impact at our age. Yet if you think about it, a mere 19 years of life and we've never been so close to death.
If there truly is such thing as selfless love in the world, I believe Cl is the closest to it as it gets. He didn't develop a phobia for riding. But he developed a phobia of seeing me hurt and injured against my/our will. His friends are all riding, and he was one of the first to get a bike. But now, he's giving it up prematurely not for himself. To many, they can just say with ease that it's not a big deal. But losing your own private transport and going back to squeezing with the masses? Losing all the convenience and "freedom" to travel? We might still be young that's why I'm viewing it as a big deal. After all to almost everyone, Singapore is easily accessible to everywhere. How inconvenient can it get? But the thought of losing everything has never struck so hard before. Granted - yes. I've never hurt so much before too.
Yet Cl can still find ways to get around this overcast. His thoughts for better months ahead has indeed made both of us more certain of this decision that he is about to make. I believe it can all only get better from now on. And if the urge to ride strikes him again, he can always get another bike when he's working full-time. This time, it'll bigger, better and faster. From now on, it'll just be driving in cars for us! Haha how obnoxious, yes I know. I just had to fit it in.
Baby I've never been so proud of someone before, and I'm glad that I'm feeling this way, finally, towards someone. Especially you. Thank you so much.
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